We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
