So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
