it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
