are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
