i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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