At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
