listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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