Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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