btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize