i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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