Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
