Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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