Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
