Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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