what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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