Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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