So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
