$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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