I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
