My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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