just come out here and I will go home with you...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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