I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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