first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
