And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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