IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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