Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
