I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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