I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
