Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
