Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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