what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
