I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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