They have a pepper shaker for pot.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
