i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
that is very illegal...i love you.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
