Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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