I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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