Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
