I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
