I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
