I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize