how do flat chested girls get laid?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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