Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
