I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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