would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
