OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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