I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize