And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
