It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
