Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
