i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
im six kinds of drunk right now
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize