Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
