Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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