I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
