brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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