Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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