Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
