I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
