We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
