does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
