This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
