Well douche your snatch and let's go!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Mom said you looked used
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
