It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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