I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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