would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
where are you?
Hypothermia
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Randomize
