my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
