Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
