Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
